Man Allegedly Shoplifts Penis Enhancement Tablets and CBD-Infused Gloves

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Of all the issues to steal, why did he steal these two issues? Let’s hazard a guess….

Police in Pennsylvania are at present searching for a suspect who allegedly stole penis enlarging tablets and a pair of gloves infused with CBD.

According to a neighborhood Fox News affiliate, Lancaster County Police stated the man entered a CVS drug shop Thursday evening and shoplifted the two products, with a total worth of $50. 

Okay, initial off: What in hell are CBD-infused gloves? CBD is actually in anything from hair pomades to CBD sports bras to perfumes, but its efficacy in these solutions, specifically the ones that do not include THC, has not been conclusively verified. The police announcement didn’t clarify what types of CBD gloves got stolen, either, but we’ve got an notion.

There’s a CBD-infused glove item marketed for manicures. CBD may possibly enable the skin repair itself, and these gloves are supposed to moisturize the hands though a manicurist operates their magic on the nails. (No matter whether they basically perform as intended is yet another concern altogether….)

Gallery — Ecstasy Tablets That Mimic Well-known Brands:

As for the “penis enhancement tablets,” unless they’re Viagra, they’re almost certainly some bogus herbs-and-vitamins capsules that are extra probably to give you gas than a major dick

So, there we have it: The alleged shoplifter stole tablets to get his Lil’ Timmy turgid and CBD-infused gloves to revitalize his palms. Either he’s intending to surprise a date with his immaculately maintained man-handlers, or he’s arranging a self-care weekend at his apartment — watching PornHub.

We’ll bet an eighth on the latter.

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